Everything here was designed by me.
No dropshipping, no Temu, no bullshit.
WHOLESALE ORDERS VIA FAIRE HERE!
International shipping rate too high? Email me with what you want and where you are and I will do my best to find you the cheapest possible rates.
The Restless is a cooperative, dungeon-crawler style card game for 1-4 players, set during the final days of an infertility apocalypse. The game creates a uniquely challenging collaborative experience that pits a team of weak, resource-starved characters against an increasingly hostile world of shapeshifting monsters, bizarre traps, and treacherous environments.
The entire game, the packaging, the rules, and all 750+ cards, were drawn or painted by me, by hand. I wrote and designed every part of the narrative experience as well.
The game is huge and meticulously crafted, but very straightforward to play. Beneath the surface, nuanced mechanics create interesting gameplay scenarios that more experienced tabletop players will enjoy. The Restless is a one-of-a-kind tabletop experience steeped in dread, awe, camaraderie, and terror.
WINNER OF THE GOLDEN TORCH AWARD - Dungeon Dive
MOST UNDERRATED HORROR GAME OF THE YEAR? - Playtest
HOW TO PLAY:
Your team of 1-4 players choose characters and starting equipment and begin a journey through the first of five realms of increasing difficulty, with each realm containing 4+ Encounters. As you travel, you’ll battle monsters, trade with merchants, and gather the experience and equipment needed to fight the final battle against the Traitor God.
As you fight, you’ll lose health. Healing is hard to find in The Restless, and the most consistent restoration occurs while resting. The smoke draws nearer with every passing moment, and your party only has 3 nights of rest available before you must press forward or die. After five realms, you confront 1 of 11 Traitor Gods. Each battle is unique, with special rules, challenges, and strategies.
The game is based around the D20 and the D4. Characters take turns attacking monsters. If their roll fails, the monster’s attacks are triggered against them. The combat may appear very simple, but it is open to countless variations. Players take turns in any order and can stack their turns in interesting ways, use impactful items, and bounce effects off each other, so thinking laterally will help your party survive.
THE TAROT RESTLESS EXPANSION
I created a fully re-imagined deck of tarot cards called The Tarot Restless, and this work can be added to this game to create a kind of hard/advanced mode for more experienced players. This deck is normally $60, but you can add it to your game for just $40.
Included with the tarot deck is get a booklet that details how to use the deck, the lore behind the expansion, and the function for every card. This expansion is for advanced players where all combat encounters are 1 point harder, which does not sound like much but makes a huge difference over time. At the start of every realm, players can consult the tarot cards by paying 4 health to the deck. Usually, each player pays 1 health, but some can pay more if other players don't want to partake. If that's the case, characters that don't partake won't gain any benefits from the tarot cards drawn in this instance.
After paying health, 4 cards are drawn (5 if you have an Omenist character in your party). Of them, 1 can be taken. Each card has a unique ability, some are better than others. Because I'm not bound by the size of the cards, these cards can be much more interesting and nuanced in their function.
One of them spawns a trader that allows players to sell items for status effects, one upgrades all future status effects to much more powerful versions, another removes all the special text on a card. One allows for an instant resurrection of a dead Character, others bind two characters together so one can carry the burdens of another. I didn't want to add another complicating layer to the game, like a system or currency that you'd have to manage, so these cards tend to fall into broad categories of Blessings (weightless buffs that apply to single characters), Global Blessings (placeholder name, but it's the same as above but for all characters), consumables, and pooled resources that can be accessed by anyone. Some are highly powerful and require sacrifices to activate. It's hard to give a broad overview because there are so many different things going on in the game, but as with everything else in the game, the text is all you need.
The Tarot Restless adds 100 silver-trimmed cards to your game, adding tons of interesting interactions, challenges, and more. It also comes with a full book of short stories that delineate the lore of the game.
If you have any questions about any of the above, feel free to email me: winslowdumaine@gmail.com
For $30, I will send you $35 worth of anything I make and then a few random things from my house. This could be anything from old books to dirty dishes to my laundry to my best chapstick. Who cares. You get what you pay for.
No returns. Ride with me in Hell.
A specialized jacket for agents in the field. Features a mesh liner, inner pocket, and printed tag.
███████ is 6’ tall and is wearing a medium.
Jacket runs somewhat small, please consult this chart:
Small: Length: 28.3” \\ Bust (1/2): 22” \\ Shoulder width: 18.3 \\ Sleeve length: 24.8”
Medium: Length: 29.1” \\ Bust (1/2): 22” \\ Shoulder width: 18.9 \\ Sleeve length: 25.6”
Large: Length: 29.9” \\ Bust (1/2): 23.6” \\ Shoulder width: 19.5 \\ Sleeve length: 26.4”
XL: Length: 30.7” \\ Bust (1/2): 24.4” \\ Shoulder width: 20.1 \\ Sleeve length: 27.2”
2XL: Length: 31.5” \\ Bust (1/2): 25.2” \\ Shoulder width: 20.7 \\ Sleeve length: 28”
3XL: Length: 33” \\ Bust (1/2) 26” \\ Shoulder Width: 21.5 \\ Sleeve length: 29”
See also:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
The required mask for all USDG field activities. Embroidered in the front and back.
See also:
A large 4.75” embroidered patch with the emblem for the United States Department of Gangstalking.
See also:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
5 Copies of the USDG recruitment poster and 20 USDG stickers.
Tell the world what you saw.
See also:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
Leave them something to ponder with this 9” x 6.5” dot journal. Linen finish, a red foil stamp, with a red ribbon, 192 pages.
Also see:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
A silky tarot cloth made for the backers of the Tarot Restless 3rd edition Kickstarter.
Measures about 16” squared.
A large polyester flag with the USDG American Psychosis design. Measures 3×5’
See also:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
We all love prints, but what if you almost didn’t know what you were getting? Is this gambling? Is this a loot box? That’s for the EU to decide.
I have a box of 12”x7” prints and I will give you 3. You get to pick one of them - the zodiac sign. I pick the other two. This is our deal. The art is mine, but the thrill is yours.
If I run out of the 12x7 prints, there’s a non-zero chance you’ll get a larger print. Are you okay with that? Answer this question in your heart and then make the purchase.
8"x11" prints are $15
11"x17" prints are $20.
Larger prints available upon request.
Sizes are approximate.
When you order, you'll be asked for the title of the work. You can find that by clicking the image in the gallery in the Works page.
Signed 5×7” prints prints in a clear sleeve. Choices shown in order:
Three of Swords
Coalescence
Smoketouched Toothtaker
Somn
The Last King of Othlodan
The Moon
The Storm of Limbs
BACKORDERED! These will ship out hopefully around 8/27.
Finally, the first dual function funeral urn and water bottle.
500ml size, double walled insulation, vacuum seal lid and with a tea infuser cap.
Perfect for steeping the ashes of your enemies.
A laser etched 750ml water flask, perfect for keeping the mind control chemicals safe in the field.
See also:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
A canvas bag that you can put your gun in or tear apart and use as bandages if you get shot.
Perfect for anyone who lives in God's Favorite Country.
Available as Just the Bag or Put Some Shit in It, where I'll put $20 of random merch in the bag as well as one random thing from my apartment.
Measures 16x16”
Throw off your pursuers with this perfect black tote bag. It’s enough to steal a whole lot of 16x16” things.
Also available: Put Some Shit In It, where I throw in about $25 worth of things I’ve designed and also some random thing from my apartment.
Finally, the perfect jug for America’s Favorite Beverage. This 500 ml jug will keep your cum fresh all day. You can also use it for water or any other liquid, but that’s up to you.
Get Loaded, Stay Loaded with this 9×6” metal sign. Comes with two foam adhesive stickers to put it on anything, even the air, it will just float there for a second.
You can get all 4 signs, THIS IS A WORK FREE DRUG PLACE, PAIN ROOM, NIGHTMARE ZONE, and EXTREMELY FUCKED UP CHEMICAL STORAGE for just $30!
An 8x4" sign with an adhesive backing. Perfect to put on the door to your darkest dungeons.
You can get all 4 signs, THIS IS A WORK FREE DRUG PLACE, PAIN ROOM, NIGHTMARE ZONE, and EXTREMELY FUCKED UP CHEMICAL STORAGE for just $30!
A perfect sign for the door that opens into a yawning abyss. Printed aluminum with a painted back for longevity. Includes 2 double-sided pieces of foam adhesive tape. Measures about 10x4.
You can get all 4 signs, THIS IS A WORK FREE DRUG PLACE, PAIN ROOM, NIGHTMARE ZONE, and EXTREMELY FUCKED UP CHEMICAL STORAGE for just $30!
Go beyond the hazard with this 9x6" aluminum sign. Includes 2 sticker foam pads for hanging. You can get all 4 signs, THIS IS A WORK FREE DRUG PLACE, PAIN ROOM, NIGHTMARE ZONE, and EXTREMELY FUCKED UP CHEMICAL STORAGE for just $30!
This bag is perfect for showing up at the funeral of your sworn enemy, whipping this out, and doing your make up/drawing a picture of their corpse.
A tough 8.5” x 4” canvas bag with a metal zipper.
Comes in two varieties: “Just the Bag” and “Put Some Shit In It”, where for $20 dollars more I’ll put in a few stickers and a couple new pins and one random object I have sitting around my basement.
This is the only bag that allows the user to take literally anything they want on an airplane. If you put it in this bag, it becomes legal. I worked it out with Biden, he’s cool with it.
A tough 12 x 7” canvas bag with a sturdy metal zipper. Perfect for toiletries, art supplies, drugs, or whatever else you can fit in there.
Comes in two varieties: “Just the Bag” and “Put Some Shit In It”, where for $20 dollars more I’ll put in a few stickers and a couple new pins and one random object I have sitting around my basement.
Keep track of the bastards with this hardcover 9” x 6.5” dot journal. Smooth finish, with a red ribbon, 192 pages.
We all love our license plates, but few of us go the extra mile to put them in a frame. Show your car you care with this unique frame. Great for anxious people who can’t commit to a bumper sticker.
WATER BOTTLES, NOTEBOOKS, AND HOME GOODS
Many of my designs are available as shirts, masks, and tote bags through TeePublic.
Stickers and Magnets
For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank magnet that is the size of your sticker or greater.
You can make your sticker into a magnet or just write whatever you want on the blank one. I’m not your boss.
Can’t decide? Leave it up to fate. I’ll pick a handful of stickers for you. Guaranteed to include at least 2 big bumper stickers.
Total value will be at least $20 but probably more because my hands are covered in sap and I can’t grab just one goddamn sticker without a bunch of them getting stuck together.
This is 25 pieces of my 8x2" Gatorade Should Be Thicker Sticker, perfect for any young evangelists looking to spread the word of thickness.
Get ready to HONK.
A 10×3 sticker. For an additional $3, I’ll send a blank magnet so you can make it into a magnet sticker.
This Vehicle Runs on Horse Blood.
A 10×3 sticker. For an additional $3, I’ll give you a blank magnet of the same size to make a magnet version.
For real though, it’s going to get so much worse. But, it might be pretty funny too.
THE ONLY STICKER FOR THE ONLY PODCAST.
10×3” Weatherproof. Add $3 and I’ll send you a blank magnet to make your own magnet version.
pull over hahahaha get out of your car
A 10×3 sticker. Pick the Magnet option and I’ll send you a 10×3 blank magnet to make it into a magnet sticker
“We Don’t Necessarily Want To Fuck The Balloons!“
A 10×3 sticker. Pick the Magnet option and I’ll send you a 10×3 blank magnet to make it into a magnet sticker.
Twuck.
Weatherproof bumper sticker, measures 10x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
OUTTA MY WAY I WANNA HUG
Weatherproof bumper sticker, measures 10x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT SABRINA CARPENTER? SHE’S DOING A COLLAB WITH COLGATE FOR A NEW STAR WARS BRANDED TOOTH PASTE THAT WILL BE AVAILABLE ONLY IN THE METAVERSE. YOU CAN GET YOUR FIRST WEEK OF SABRINA STARTOOTH DIGITUBES FOR FREE WITH THE PURCHASE OF ANY POWER RANGERS MINI FUNKO POP AT PARTICIPATING AMC THEATRES. THIS PROMOTION IS PART OF THE CREST/COLGATE/POKEMON/CHEVROLET HYPERCONGLOMERATE THOUGHT CONSOLIDATION PROJECT AND IS ACHIEVED IN COLLABORATION WITH MARVEL, DC, MSNBC, CNN, FBI, THE USDG, AND NAMBLA WITH EFFORTS ASSISSTED BY BUSINESS PARTNERS AT FORTNITE, TENCENT, CHIQUITA BANANA, EMINEM, M&M, 3M, RAYCON, RAYTHEON, AND THE JENI’S ICE CREAM TETRAGLOMERATE. PERFORM THE VIRAL DANCE TO GET 4% OFF ON YOUR FIRST YEAR OF SERVICE WITH SELECT CONTRACTS. NOT AVAILABLE IN ALASKA. OFFER VOID IF NON-CAMPAIGN IPS ARE VIEWED DURING THE ENTHUSIASM PERIOD. PARTICIPANTS ARE REQUIRED TO RECEIVE RETINAL SCAN DIODE TO ENSURE MEDIA VIEWING COMPLIANCE. DIODE INSTALLATION IS NOT COVERED BY INSURANCE AND GENERALLY HAS A 20 WEEK RECOVERY PERIOD. MEDIA CONSUMPTION COMPLIANCE DIODE INSTALLATION SURGERY HAS BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE HEADACHES, ABDOMINAL PAIN, TROUBLE SLEEPING, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, GUM BLEEDING, CLOUDY URINE, HEARTBURN, ITCHING, NAUSEA, FORGETFULNESS, VOMITING, DEPRESSION, HOSTILITY, VIOLENT THOUGHTS, CONFUSION, COMA, BLINDNESS, DEAFNESS, FATIGUE, HIVES, IRREGULAR HEARTBEAT, NOSEBLEEDS, SEIZURES, ODOR, HALLUCINATION, AND SUDDEN DEATH. TALK TO YOUR INFLUENCER FOR MORE DETAILS. REMEMBER TO STAY HYPE AND CONSUME APPROVED MEDIA.
10×3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
Horse Truck Beer Gun
Horse Truck Beer Gun
Horse Truck Beer Gun
10×3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
We're there if you need us. Even if you don't.
Weatherproof sticker, measures 10x3"
Also available as a magnet. This means you'll receive the 10x3" sticker and a matching 10x3" magnet.
We are both just trying to drive our cars!! It’s so romantic!
A sturdy 10x3” sticker
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
i made this sticker at school today do you like it circle yes or no
Weatherproof sticker. Measures 10x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
Hey baby is your body a church because I want to have a complicated relationship with your aesthetics.
A 10x3 waterproof sticker.
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
Blessed be his Unholy Name.
Bumper sticker is 10” x 3”.
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
The time has come to return to the #MAGMA. Measures about 8 inches long.
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
This sticker is so good, you don’t even need it.
Weatherproof bumper sticker, measures 10x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
You’re too old for diversion, but you’re just the right age for this sticker.
10”x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
They cry out to me in the swollen darkness of the cellar.
Weatherproofed sticker measures 10x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
We will not be silenced!
Weatherproofed sticker measures 8x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
Uhhhh let me get 20 on pump two, some Marlboro reds and uhhhh a man having sex with my wife
Sticker measures 8x3”
No Gods, No Masters.
A sturdy 10x3” sticker.
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
*wet viscera sounds*
Weather-tough sticker measures 3 x 10”.
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
Crucified Garfield at GolGarfa.
A 5" tall metallic sticker, perfect for your ammo box.
Si monumentum requiris, Circumspice.
A 3×3”ish sticker for the centrist in all of us. Weatherproof and perfect just like you.
Let’s cut to the chase. Ban everything and we can all go home, to prison, because home is banned. also prison is banned. banishment? banned. It’s all banned and nothing hurts.
A 8×2” sticker.
Progress! Through the Alimentary Canal!
A 3” sticker that works for our final election.
There is only one truth in this world and it is that piss is the water we drank and the water we drank once was piss. The body is the machine that turns water into piss, and the machines of our making turn piss in to water. The cycle of carnage repeats without end.
Celebrate it with this 4” tall sticker.
If a horror movie has 50% on Rotten Tomatoes and half the reviewers are saying that “Nothing even happens,” you know it’s going to be fuckin amazing.
Sticker measures about 5” tall.
How can you call him unhealthy when ten trillion bacteria are thriving between his teeth.
Measures about 3×4”
A large round sticker featuring my Thelema design and an ink painting background. Measures about 4” around. Matte finish.
A 3.5” round sticker for The United States Department of Gangstalking.
See also:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
ENAMEL PINS AND BUTTONS
A pin for senior agents of the USDG.
Measures about 1.5” across.
See also:
USDG American Psychosis Sticker
Three houseflies in black and gold, each a distinct pin with rubber pin backer. Each fly measures about 22mm around.
A long, golden centipede, measuring about 2.5” tall with two locking metal clasps on the back.
A large mourning cloak butterfly in black, gold, and blue glitter. Measures about 2” tall. Two locking metal posts on the back.
For Abigail.
Two separate pins, one handle of a broken sword and the other the fractured blade. Lined in gold. Each pin has two studs to keep in it in place. Perfect together, apart, on a collar, or as a friendship set.
The Broken Sword is one of the starting items in my card game, The Restless.
Measures about 2" tall when assembled.
A very large 2” pin featuring my illustration of The Bound Hands of Saint Yciline, an item from my card game The Restless.
A gold pin with three locking studs. Measures about 2.5” tall. From THE RESTLESS, my hand drawn card game.
An absolutely massive 2.5” tall pin celebrating the true inheritors of the world.
Can you really call it a battle jacket without a black and gold flail?
Two pins connected by a golden chain. Flail haft measures 2” tall.
Black thumbs, black nails. Mass action and mascara.
Join the Goth Labor Union with this sandblasted nickel pin. About 2” wide with two studs on the back.
I’ll serve knickknacks before serve this country.
A double backed pin approximately 1.5” wide.
This is my high school sophomore photo laid in a gold backer. Take me with you wherever you go.
A pretty large pin. Approximately 2” tall.
A large soft enamel pin for those of us who have loved, lost, and ultimately regretted the experience.
Note that the new print of these pins differs slightly from the first edition.
A set of teeth, glistening and visceral, plated in gold. This is a fairly large pin, measuring about 1.75 inches long.
A time to live and a time to die. All these designs are not long for the world.
A sticker for when the sorrow will not cease.
Weatherproof bumper sticker, measure 10x3”
Note: For just $3 more, I’ll send you a blank 10x3” magnet that fits your sticker.
Slip your svelte body into one of these hand screen-printed shirts.
Printed on Hanes Perfect T.
These are the huge, uncut card sheets that were used to create the promotional copies of The Restless. There may be a few spelling errors or dented edges on these, as you will be receiving them in the same condition that I received them. No tears, no serious damage, just a few dents.
All measure approximately 27x35” except Box Internal and Box External, which measure 13×25”.
All designs are one of a kind, signed and named by me.
Shipping is generally $10. If you order other large items (i.e. not stickers), they may ship in a separate container.
All of these will ship separately from the Kickstarter.
This poster was briefly used to advertise The Tarot Restless, so it has four small pinholes in the corners. It’s about 25”x27” and laminated. One of a kind!
The Tarot Restless is a complete overhaul of the classic Rider-Waite deck, set in a bizarre fantasy universe during the final days of a cosmic infertility apocalypse. It is a wholly unique creation steeped in supernatural horror that takes inspiration from video games like Dark Souls and Silent Hill, black and death metal music, and Lovecraftian lore.
This includes:
The original 78 card deck, 12 of which feature new designs
The 12 card expansion set The Zodiac Retrograde
The 10 card expansion set The Oracle Inimical (The Exalted and the Exterminated)
A profusely illustrated and completely re-written copy of Restless Meditations, a 140+ page guidebook of short stories that explore the lore and interpretations of each card
A silver-stamped box that holds both the cards and the guidebook
All 100 cards are trimmed with a brilliant silver finish, echoed by the foil on the front of the box and on the guidebook. Rich with themes of betrayal, grief, escape from abuse, and redemption, this deck is perfect for new or experienced tarot readers as well as those who want to delve into a strange world of obscene horror.
You can also pair the tarot deck with a copy of my game, The Restless, which is set in the same world and illustrated in the same style. The bundle saves $20!